May 20, 2008

Confession

I have a confession to make.

I do not read blogs that much. 

Blogs are a funny thing. At first I was adamantly opposed to having one because the only ones I had seen were theological rantings that, me being not so super spiritual, didn't want to read. 

But I caved. And I was adamant that I would make mine worth reading.

But of course, being a mom, it turned into pictures of my kids potty training and recreated conversations of all the cute things my offspring have said. (I'm not saying that's not worth reading :) 

And as I got more into blogging, I started reading all kinds of blogs. It was fun seeing pictures of everyone else's kid potty training and hearing recreated conversations of all the cute things they said. And when you find someone you know through someone else you know and you didn't know they had a blog and then you found it and, wow, that's so cool. And then you can kind of stalk people you don't know, especially Christian celebrities, and peek into their lives and see how they truly are as cool as you thought they would be.

But then something happened in my heart. I realized that the more I read blogs, the more I struggled with comparison, and therefore both envy and pride (cuz that's where it comes from). I would leave my computer feeling like I'm not such a good mom because I don't do what so and so does or I'm not a good wife because I don't do such and such. The comparisons were endless. 

Why is that we women struggle so much with comparison? I talked this over recently with my friend, Ashley. We agreed that it is a constant struggle and creeps into most areas of life: marriage, parenting, looks, finances, possessions, lifestyle, what we eat, what we put on our kids, what we read, who we're friends with....the list could go on infinitely. She told me a great analogy that I think is perfect. I think it came from a Joshua Harris book. He says that God asks us, with our lives, to paint a picture of Christ with what He's given us. So we're sitting around with the stuff He's given us, some of us with crayons, some with clay, some with markers, some with watercolors, and we're supposed to painting a picture of Christ. Instead, we're too busy looking around at other people and wishing we had the tools they had. "I only got a few crayons, but look at her....she has lots of paint." We are paralyzed from creating our pictures because of comparison. 

And that certainly can't be pleasing to the Lord.

When I struggle with comparison (which is often), I pray that God would help me see my gifts clearly and be confident and bold in using them. And I pray that He would help me rejoice in what He's given my sisters and encourage them to be confident and bold in using them.

So I'm sorry if I don't know what's happening on your blog. And it's just fine if you don't know what's happening on my blog. Let's just be about what God has us individually to be about!