February 6, 2010

Letting You in on a Little Secret

There is a part of me that I have held tightly to my heart for a long time.

In my insecurity, doubts, and fear of vulnerability or failure, I have been afraid to talk about it.

But I am tired of feeding my fear so I'm letting you in on my little secret. Please handle it {me} with care.

Here it is: I love to write. I am a writer. It is in my blood. And I am finally letting it out.

I have always been cautious about giving my time to writing, not just out of fear, but also wanting to be clear that the Lord was giving me the "go-ahead". I have many other priorities that require my diligent attention so I don't want to neglect them for a lesser calling. My dream has been on hold for good reason: supporting my husband's ministry, three beautiful boys, and homemaking. I was surprised, then, when a few months after we moved to Charlottesville, I received the green light from Him. It started as a rejuvenating period on Friday mornings when Kyle would take over kid duty and send me off to the coffee shop. I did it for myself. I also did it to reflect on what the Lord had done in my life. Those Friday mornings have slowly detangled the fears, doubts, and feelings of stupidity over saying, "I write."

There are several reasons I'm telling you this.

One is that maybe you have something you've always wanted to do, but fear has kept you from pursuing it. I hope you'll consider doing it! It's been so good (and terrifying) for me and I want the same for you.

The other reason is because all those Friday mornings have become a book--a book about my experience parenting a child with autism (so that explains what all those autism posts have been about....). Some of the posts I've written are actually excerpts from the book. I have started a new blog in which I will continue to talk about issues we parents face, all from a Christian perspective. If you know anyone who is walking the autism road, please send them a link to the blog. It has been my prayer that my writing will bring honor to the Lord and bear fruit so the blog is my attempt at that.

I feel like I just laid myself bare before you.

Thank you for handling fragile ol' me with care.

Now I'll just sit here looking at the "publish post" button for a while.