Fuel

I recently spoke with a neighbor of mine whose husband is a resident at UVA. His job requires so much of him and she, being a mom of two young children, expressed how much she is struggling with loneliness and resentment toward his job.

I've felt burdened for her because, although my husband is not gone as much as hers, being a pastor's wife helps me understand some of what she experiences and feels. Soon after our conversation, I noticed that searches such as "pastor's wives have needs too" and "I struggle with being a pastor's wife" and "resentment in being a pastor's wife" have led people to my recent posts on the subject. It seems it is our common struggle to joyfully and willingly accept such a difficult role. My heart has been heavy today thinking of the women out there who are hurting and lonely. I have been there myself.

I've tried many ways of handling the difficult parts of ministry. I've learned that anything that entails fully depending on other people--my husband, friends, family members, church members--cannot sustain me. They can't always know or understand my heart. But God does. The only thing that will enable me to be an effective and joyful pastor's wife on a long-term basis is being with Him. His Words to me are the fuel that keeps me going through adverse circumstances, loneliness, and exhaustion. I also turn to Him when others praise me so that the approval of man doesn't take the place of His fuel. I go to certain verses over and over to remind me why I am in the position I'm in and how He wants to use me there. Precious and loved ministers' wives, I hope they are fuel for you today:

“When I came to you, brothers and sisters,^ I did not come proclaiming the mystery ^of God to you in lofty words or wisdom. For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ, and him crucified. And I came to you in weakness and in fear and in much trembling. ^My speech and my proclamation were not with plausible words of wisdom,^ but with a demonstration of the Spirit and of power, ^ so that your faith might rest not on human wisdom but on the power of God.” I Corinthians 2:1-2

^“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility regard others as better than yourselves. Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others. ^Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus, ^who, though he was in the form of God, did not regard equality with God as something to be exploited, but emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, being born in human likeness. And being found in human form, he humbled himself and became obedient to the point of death—even death on a cross.” Philippians 2:3-8

“He must increase, but I must decrease.” John 3:30^

^“Am I now seeking human approval, or God’s approval? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still pleasing people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10

^“Do not be deceived; God is not mocked, for you reap whatever you sow. ^If you sow to your own flesh, you will reap corruption from the flesh; but if you sow to the Spirit, you will reap eternal life from the Spirit. ^ So let us not grow weary in doing what is right, for we will reap at harvest time, if we do not give up. ^ So then, whenever we have an opportunity, let us work for the good of all, and especially for those of the family of faith.” Galatians 6:7-10

“Now as an elder myself and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, as well as one who shares in the glory to be revealed, I exhort the elders among you to tend the flock of God that is in your charge, exercising the oversight,^ not under compulsion but willingly, as God would have you do it ^—not for sordid gain but eagerly. ^ Do not lord it over those in your charge, but be examples to the flock. ^And when the chief shepherd appears, you will win the crown of glory that never fades away.” I Peter 5:1-4

^“The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to keep still.” Exodus 14:14

^“ We are putting no obstacle in anyone’s way, so that no fault may be found with our ministry, ^but as servants of God we have commended ourselves in every way: through great endurance, in afflictions, hardships, calamities, ^ beatings, imprisonments, riots, labors, sleepless nights, hunger; by purity, knowledge, patience, kindness, holiness of spirit, genuine love, truthful speech, and the power of God; with the weapons of righteousness for the right hand and for the left; in honor and dishonor, in ill repute and good repute. We are treated as impostors, and yet are true; as unknown, and yet are well known; as dying, and see—we are alive; as punished, and yet not killed; ^as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, and yet possessing everything. We have spoken frankly to you Corinthians; our heart is wide open to you. ^ There is no restriction in our affections, but only in yours. ^ In return—I speak as to children—open wide your hearts also.” 2 Corinthians 6:3-11

^“ In all this I have given you an example that by such work we must support the weak, remembering the words of the Lord Jesus, for he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ” Acts 20:35

^“With my voice I cry to the Lord; with my voice I make supplication to the Lord.

^I pour out my complaint before him; I tell my trouble before him.

^When my spirit is faint, you know my way. In the path where I walk they have hidden a trap for me.

^Look on my right hand and see—there is no one who takes notice of me; no refuge remains to me; no one cares for me.

^I cry to you, O Lord; I say, “You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living.”

^Give heed to my cry, for I am brought very low. Save me from my persecutors, for they are too strong for me.

^Bring me out of prison, so that I may give thanks to your name. The righteous will surround me, for you will deal bountifully with me.” Psalm 142

“If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. ^And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.  If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, ^ but do not have love, I gain nothing.” I Corinthians 13:1-3

“Whoever speaks must do so as one speaking the very words of God; whoever serves must do so with the strength that God supplies, so that God may be glorified in all things through Jesus Christ. To him belong the glory and the power forever and ever. Amen.” I Peter 4:11

^“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all consolation, ^ who consoles us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to console those who are in any affliction with the consolation with which we ourselves are consoled by God. ^For just as the sufferings of Christ are abundant for us, so also our consolation is abundant through Christ. ^If we are being afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation; if we are being consoled, it is for your consolation, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we are also suffering. ^ Our hope for you is unshaken; for we know that as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our consolation.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-7

^“Women likewise must be serious, not slanderers, but temperate, faithful in all things.” I Timothy 3:11

"The one who calls you is faithful and He will do it." 1 Thessalonians 5:24

"But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord." 1 Corinthians 15:57-58