November 17, 2010

Give us this Day

I had good intentions of writing more about little things that make a big difference, but then life got in my way. So instead I'll write today about the little things that I intend to do, but have a difficult time seeing to completion. ha!

For one, I have a difficult time saying no. It seems like the older I get that I have more and greater responsibilities. I've felt the Lord nudging me to continue refining and narrowing my purpose, especially what I give my time to. There are clear priorities that He's given me that, if I neglect, no one else is going to do for me: spend time in the Word, be a wife to Kyle, and love and train my children. But where it gets murky is what comes after those priorities. What is my specific ministry as a pastor's wife in my church? What relationships in the community do I need to nurture? And on and on. I think I know the answers to those questions, but it's hard to say no to the other (often good) things.

Which leads me to the second little-thing-that-makes-a-big-difference that I struggle with: resting well. Most of the time, my struggle is feeling guilty about saying no and feeling guilty about making time to rest and feeling guilty when I'm actually resting because I should be doing something else. The Lord reminded me today that we are finite people and He has given us rest not only as a gift, but as a way of acknowledging that we need. It's an act of dependence. And it's an act of trust: Lord, I am not responsible for everything and everyone, but You are. In my rest, I trust that you are still working. 

Sometimes I sense that the Lord puts alot on my plate on purpose so that I will rely on Him for strength and wisdom. During these times of busyness, I find myself complaining and becoming overwhelmed. It's in those times that I have to remind myself to rejoice in the day the Lord has given, be thankful for the opportunities (like having a husband and three children and a growing church), and plan times of rest. I also can't get too ahead of myself, thinking of everything that has to happen between now and next week. I simply need to pray, "Lord, give me this day my daily bread."

"Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, neither faints nor is weary. His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength." Isaiah 40:28-29