May 16, 2011

Pastor's Wife? Yes, You!

The whole pastor's wife thing snuck up on me. Believe it or not, about a year into church planting, I suddenly realized that I was a pastor's wifeIt kinda freaked me out a bit because, just like everyone else, when I think of the "pastor's wife", I automatically think of an ideal, smiley, sweet person. In my last post, I shared an email I got from a ministry wife struggling with the idea that her husband might be called to be a pastor. Today, I'm sharing my response. I hope it's helpful to you where you're at, ministry or not.

I'm so glad you wrote! I'm sorry that the post made you feel lesser than as a minister's wife. I understand what you're feeling, though. I mean, logically you and I know that we're our own people and God gifted us uniquely, but when we compare ourselves to those sweet (I'm so not sweet either), "perfect" pastor's wives we always think those personalities/giftedness/way of doing things are so much better than ours. Friend, I'm personally really thankful for you and the way you are....you are interesting and fun and make me laugh a ton. Knowing your husband, he probably likes that a whole lot more than banana bread baking in the oven.

It sounds to me like God is doing something so the enemy is at work overtime on you, trying to tell you you're not good enough or God can't use you as a pastor's wife b/c you're not Kelly Matte or whoever. Which is total baloney. I don't think God gave you the personality you have and then expects you to change it to fit into another person's mold or false standard. I totally relate to what you're feeling. I struggle with this alot--trusting the Lord that He is using me.

I've always worked from the idea that if God calls Kyle to something, that He is calling me too. Obviously, he doesn't make job decisions without my full "yes" so I think if you feel like this isn't something you want to do or you don't think it's right for your husband then you need to be honest with him. This church planting thing has been super difficult and there have been times I've struggled with what it's required of me. I hold REALLY fast to that assurance that I had when we were making that decision.

You're not going to fail at being a good wife and mom and ministry wife if you're walking with the Lord and taking it one day at a time.

I am praying for you, that you'd know God's love and grace over you today. That you'd know you don't have to have it all together.