But I do have other passions and I do spend my time on other things. In fact, I think it's necessary and healthy for ministry wives (or for that matter, all wives, moms, and anyone breathing) to have interests/passions that they pursue, that they make time to pursue.
What are yours?
When I had babies in my arms and toddlers wrapped around my legs, that question used to stress me out. I know, I'd think, that my passions and interests (other than my precious angels, of course) are somewhere in there, tucked away behind the sleeplessness and the spit up. Kyle, ever so-helpful, would say to me, "What you need is some time away from the kids!" and he'd shoo me out the door. Having been shooed--no pushed--out the door for the sake of my sanity, I would sit in the car and debate how to use the free time. Sometimes I would actually cry to Kyle, like he was torturing me: But if I go away for a few hours, I don't know what I would do!
Melodrama aside, that simple question (simple before I had kids) regarding my interests and passions brought up so much fear in my heart. Fear that I was uninteresting. Fear that I would forget the passions and gifts lying dormant. Fear that if I pursued them, I would fail or look stupid or be regarded as placing my own interests above my family's. Fear to actually name my passions and even greater fear to say them out loud to other people. Fear that I would be wasting my time.
But the thing about a passion is that it's often from God and it won't let up on you until you give in to it. So I took baby steps at first and felt guilty and fearful and silly which each one. I learned a whole stinkin' lot, including this: you don't have to wait until your children are older or your husband is home or you have a baby or you get married or you get to stop working your 9-5 job to pursue a passion. You're not a bad mom or a bad wife if you don't focus every last ounce of energy on them. Rather, you will be a more life-filled mom and wife because you pursue your passion. (Obviously, this isn't true if you're Elizabeth Gilbert in the midst of writing Eat, Pray, Love.)
So, go ahead, say it out loud. What's your passion? What do you want to pursue to the glory of God?
In the next few posts, I'm going to explore this topic more. Like: How do you know your passions? How do you make time to pursue them? How do you battle fear? and more. Join me! And share too! I love to hear from readers.
15 comments:
looking forward to this series :)
Hello
I've arrived at your blog in a series of jumps from mine (www.hmarewenearlythereyet.blogspot.com) and you've stopped me in my tracks. I think you wrote this just for me! Or, what I mean is that I think it's no co-incidence that I dropped by today.
My youngest daughter is going to start school in September and I am in unfamiliar territory when I contemplate having some time again to do...something... soon. I have always wanted to write and writing my blog over the past eight months has been a joy and a learning experience. I love it. I've always had a passion for writing and I'm starting to wonder if it isn't a God-given passion and so, what should I do with it? Just as you say, I'm afraid of failing, I'm afraid of what people might think (so you think you're good at that, do you?) and I'm afraid of investing a lot of emotional energy in something if it's the wrong thing. Hmm.
I thought I would drop you a quick note to say thankyou for your encouragement from all the way over the other side of the Atlantic.
God bless you.
In Christ
Helenx
PS I see it all the time in films, but do people really sit on their porches watching the world go by where you are? On one of those seats that swings?! Sounds wonderful. :-)
I'm not sure anymore. I like doing lots of little things I enjoy a little bit, but feel too tired to do the big crazies. One day I want to teach, since I invested so much time in getting that dern degree. But I'm not sure what it would look like now. For today, I am looking forward to picking some tomatoes though! Hmmm....you're making me feel like a dream-flirt!
:)
I know what your passions are even if you don't: cooking, gardening & growing things, and teaching (b/c you talk about it, not b/c I've seen you do it).
Helen! Nice to "meet" you. I'm glad you happened upon the blog. I popped onto yours too and can instantly feel your passion for writing. I hope you will pursue it because you're good at it :)
And, yes, there are people who have porch swings and watch the world go by, but I generally I imagine that they live in small towns and are old :)
Christine! This is an excellent post (and question.) I am IN the baby/toddler stage yet I still feel my passions tugging at me (or is that the baby?) Anyway, I have a desire to read, study, and learn about the current feminist movement in American culture and around the world. I hope to one day be able to teach about how Christian women should react and respond. For now I am in the learning stages, just taking baby steps on my blog (31fields.com) when I can. :)
I think your blog, writing style, and ideas are wonderful. I support you, Christine! Keep it coming!
Thanks for this post, Christine. I'm in that stage where my boys are young, my husband's in seminary, we've left the familiar and comfortable to follow after the Lord. Honestly, I'm the last person I think about. I've been following your blog for some time and appreciate you opening your thoughts to ladies like myself. This is something I must give more thought to because this is not the first avenue through which I've been confronted with this. Can't wait to see what the Lord shows me! Thanks again!
I miss you and your wisdom! I am thoroughly looking forward to this next series. Sometimes I forget that I'm still the same person I was three years ago, just now with a husband and a son. There are days when I long to curl up on the couch with a cup of coffee (still hot) in the early morning hours and read or journal. I would love to sit down and sew for hours uninterrupted. I long to become a better picture taker and learn to articulately write down life on my blog. Yet, it feels as if I don't have time to pursue any of those. I feel guilty asking my husband to watch the baby after he has worked for 12 hours a day and simply needs to rest. How do I balance my roles as mommy and wife while still retaining who I am as a woman? Do they go hand in hand? Can't wait to see what else you have to say!
Julia
Intriguing passion, Meg! Thanks for saying it out loud to us :)
And thanks for the encouragement. I appreciate it.
A fellow ministry wife! Yay! Thanks for commenting, Naomi. I know the Lord will show you both what and when.
Good questions, Julia. It gives me alot to think about and try to articulate answers for. How are you, by the way?
Christine-
I loved your post!! I
am not sure what my passions are anymore. I am not a "ministry wife." I am married to a football coach and now that I stay home with our two kids our lives revolve around my husband. I do enjoy supporting his passion, but I am so wondering if it has clouded mine to the point that I am not sure what mine are anymore. For the moment I am just trying to fulfill my role as wife and mother. Besides that I am not sure what I enjoy doing anymore... Hrmph!! :)
Christine! I'm super excited about this series! Since moving, leaving full time ministry, getting married and supporting my husband's passions (which i've come to love) i do feel from time to time that i've lost some of my passions in life and i'm trying to find some new ones. really looking forward to thinking through this and praying for new passions!
It's always good to hear from you, Bethany. I know the Lord will lead you and I look forward to what He leads you to.
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