I did not know this woman and I may very well have completely misread her, but no matter because in that moment, that woman--seemingly so intent on promoting herself, so self-focused-- raised a full-length mirror to my own heart. I was gripped by it, so sure of what I was seeing. She reflected back to me my own dark desires of instant success, popularity, and followers. A Clamorer, dissatisfied, concerned with worldly success more than character, wanting desperately to bypass daily faithfulness and dependence.
In the mirror, I saw wickedness.
I ran, ashamed, considering the core of the matter, the lies that weave their way into my life:
What I'm doing is not enough.
What I have is not enough.
I am not enough.
I am concerned about the state of my heart, that gets so easily caught up in the online frenzy of self-promotion and image-keeping. I am concerned about all of us, that we are pining after and comparing and envying ourselves away. We are clamoring to stake a place in the world, to be noticed or seen or loved or respected, but losing our souls in the process.
But what I'm doing is not enough.
Enough! If we are faithful in what God has given us today, it is enough.
What I have is not enough.
Enough! In this moment, we have everything God intends us to have.
I am not enough.
Enough! We may not be enough for other people, but when God looks at us, He sees Jesus. And He is enough.
It doesn't matter how many people you lead or influence, if you ever see the fulfillment of your dreams, or if you ever measure up to some perfect standard. It matters most--and to the most important people--that you are faithful in the unseen, in the daily things. Those things matter because they add up to a God-filled life.
Today, let us quiet the clamor and the comparisons, the swirling online world, and the self-accusations. Today, let's rest in Enough.
8 comments:
Thanks Christine! needed to hear this!!!
So here is what I have been thinking about lately, and I think possibly you are bringing this up, though maybe not...but I'll just throw it out there. When I was in 3rd grade I grew my bangs out. My grandmother couldn't understand why I would ever want my hair in my face. I wanted to be like my neighbor, a sweet, popular, and "cool" 15 year old. I watched everything she did just wanting to be like her. So I was putting on "cool" when I grew out my bangs. But the reality is that while I could be a very special 9 year old girl, there were many things my 15 year old inspiration could do and be that I just wasn't ready for. No matter how I tried, it just looked like I was playing dress up. And yet, growing from a 9 year old to a 15 year old, over time, was important. In some ways, inevitable. I grew into the bangs...and over time grew out of a great many teenaged insecurities...maybe not all:)
In a similar vein of following, though the context of the verse is more exciting - being chosen(!), scripture says to put on righteousness, to put on kindness and gentleness. We're reminded to draw near to Christ, encourage one another, and to do everything to His glory. And that is where I always feel the tension. In my 30 year olded-ness there are so many relationships and wisdom, righteousness, gentleness, patience, compassion - I could always put on more of it. And I so so desperately want to. I want to love everyone in my life MORE. I want to be focused on Christ and channel His love into the life of everyone I look at sideways. And, well, I'm not sure that is such a terrible thing in and of itself - but sometimes in the process of contemplating what being more Loving, or being more Faithful, or being Holy, would look like...I see a good role model and think "oh that's it! that's what it should look like! that's what I should be doing!" - and off I go in my pursuit of...doing laundry 3 times a week to have more time in the evenings, or planning the perfect after school schedule, or taking a walk in the morning to be peaceful, until somewhere along the way it is taking so much effort to focus on that thing, and all of a sudden the only person I can see is me, and thirty seconds later I am scowling at my husband because his persistent desire to sit and talk to me(!) is getting in the way of my laundry (which I was doing to make more time to love him in the first place...ironically:) It's exhausting. It's silly. It is thoroughly, predictably, what I do.
So...my questions for you, or me, or God, or some lucky reader is...how do you recognize the difference? How do you walk that line between the honest pursuit of holiness, as God has intended and planned for you, and the pursuit of...dressing up like holiness? I mean, I don't necessarily think it is in the things, the dreams, the achievement, the recognition - and I suppose that I don't even think "playing pretend" is always bad either...but I feel very easily distracted from Who I am pursuing, and certainly often convinced that I should be "bigger than my britches" as they say.
Oh this was wonderful and such a great reminder. Thank you!
Amen! Thank you for the poignant reminder!
This one hit me square in the face. Thanks for your wise words.
Wow. Definitely needed that reminder today. Thank you.
First, I love you, Melanie!
I like your analogy of "putting on cool" but not having the maturity and it not truly being who you are. I think that is exactly what I was getting at in the post.
Your question...
I think the honest pursuit of holiness as God plans it for each of us individually is based upon the leadership of the Holy Spirit, not the leadership or example of others. Sometimes, yes, He may use the example of others to nudge us forward, but essentially it is Him doing the nudging.
Second, I would say that when we are following the Spirit's leadership in our pursuit of holiness, that we will experience feelings of joy, peace, and freedom, NOT envy, comparison, or feeling lesser-than. Our feelings can mislead us, but they are also are sometimes a good litmus test for what our motivations are.
Finally, in my experience, I've found that the Spirit often leads me to PEOPLE, not ACTIVITIES. So in the case of the laundry and your dear sweet husband, I don't see how you can go wrong with dropping the laundry for a bit and going back to it later when you've had some good one-on-one time with your husband. Of course, you can't drop it forever, however much we all want to!!!
http://www.maxlucado.com/articles/daily/contentment2#.Tr1L03EuAOU.facebook
Thought this was good and went right along with what you were talking about.
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