How to Be a Church Planting Wife

How to meet people where you're planting:

• Meet every single one of your neighbors.
• Hang out at playgrounds with your kids and strike up conversations with other moms.
• Join a book club or the PTO.
• Talk to your waiters.
• Shop at the same places on the same days at the same times.
• Go where the people of your city congregate with the intent to engage people.
• Start a neighborhood playgroup.
• Join a community sports league.
• Get involved at your child's school.

How to best support your husband during the first year of planting:

• Think of things to talk about other than the church.
• Tell him specific ways that you see God using him.
• Take your frustrations about church planting to the Lord before you take things to your husband.
• Maintain consistent time in the Word. Depend on the Lord to meet the needs only He can meet.
• Celebrate small victories.
• Don't tell him what to do or how to do it.
• Get involved in the process. Support his calling.
• Be flexible.

How to figure out your role in all this craziness:

• Always remember that, no matter what you do for the church, your most important roles are disciple, wife, and mom.
• Give it time (like years) to definitively narrow down your ministry role.
• Accept that in church planting you will be a generalist for a long time before becoming a specialist.
• Know that your role will change with each year and stage of church planting.
• Ask your husband for feedback on how God often chooses to use you.
• Be on guard against spiritual attack, specifically discouragement and emotional struggles.

How to maintain your sanity in church planting:

• Maintain consistent time in the Word.
• Once you know someone well enough to babysit your kids, do whatever it takes to establish and keep a consistent date night with your husband.
• Don't be afraid to take time off to catch your breath or get some perspective.
• Establish relationships in the community. Maintain perspective on why you're doing what you're doing.
• Make time to do something that interests you.
• Don't be afraid to pursue counseling or ask for help.
• If possible, find a mentor.
• Don't say yes to every ministry opportunity presented to you.
• Structure your life well.
• Have open and beneficially honest dialogue with your husband about how you're doing and how his job affects you.

Anything you would add to my lists?

--from the archives

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