Obviously, this is a huge problem on multiple levels. At the time that God revealed this sin-stained part of my heart, I served alongside other ministry wives, and we served at a church alongside other thriving churches. My need to be liked above others or respected above others caused division, isolation, and confusion. I could hardly focus on anything other than where I stood with people and how that compared with others. It hindered my husband's ministry and, at times, the ministry of the women I served alongside. I fell into gossip, even though it was just with my husband, and bitterness. I couldn't see or be happy about the growth of God's kingdom; I was only happy when my kingdom appeared strong and favored before men.
But this it not the way of grace, which I learned through brokenness and much repentance before God. I knew it would take God's tilling up the hard ground of my heart, thoughts, and habits, but His grace motivated me. I wanted to learn to offer grace to others just as He had offered grace to me. I had to apologize to people and deal with the bitterness that I had allowed into my life.
Sisters, comparison and competition are not okay for God's children. Those heart attitudes and resulting sinful behaviors are those of an orphan without a loving Father to provide perfectly for her every need or One who does not give gifts to all of His children. When we compare and compete, we tell lies about our Father. It is also a shrewd tactic of the enemy because our competition with one another turns outsiders away from the gospel.
The only way we can kill our proclivity for comparison and competition is to fully know that the ministry we do is about God and about building His kingdom. We are all on a level playing field, although God sometimes chooses to use people and their gifts differently. A heart of grace understands this. A heart of grace is able to cheer for others, rejoice in their victories, and pray for their good. A heart of grace trusts God enough to not have to fight to be seen or heard or understood or acknowledged. A heart of grace knows her identity, approval, and very beating come from Him.
He is enough, so she is enough. He gives enough, so she has enough.
Do you struggle with comparison and competition with others? How do you think God wants you to put those to death in your life?
4 comments:
Yup. Pretty much. God has been hitting my bad attitude hard through these posts, through the loving correction of my hubby, as well as "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. As a 2nd year church planting wife in the Pacific NW, it's tough. Every day is filled with opportunities to live grace and love, yet so often I find myself in "comparison" mode and "performance" mode and it does breed bitterness. I am pleading with God to break the yoke of these things from me; to reveal His grace to me so I may fully accept and know it, so I can give grace to others. I am learning that The Enemy sure does use every tactic in the world to tear apart church planting families to render us paralyzed to be obedient to the call. I am fighting for joy and doing my best to trust His faithfulness amidst my unfaithfulness in this matter of the heart. (1 Cor. 10:13, 2 Tim. 2:13)
I couldn't have said "amen!" enough times! thank you for this GOOD word, sister. it's so evil and so tempting to compare. when things are good "look at us/me/our church!" and when things are bad "i wish our church was like theirs/i wish we were more successful, etc". I love how you said this is Orphan talk and we have a loving father. your words were sweet to me today! can't wait to read the book :)
Thank you for sharing your own battle with this. I think we all battle it at some point or another, but the key word is BATTLE, allowing God to till the hard parts of our hearts.
Your right, Emily. Alot of the times I've been discouraged in church planting or ministry have been because I had certain expectations of what "I" could do (and was failing at) and because I was looking around at everybody else.
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