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I am a pastor’s wife.
When asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, there were a
lot of things on my list. There
was one thing, however, that I did NOT
want to be and that was….(I’ll give you one guess)… a pastor’s wife.
I’m not sure how it happened exactly, which (I know what
you’re thinking) is completely naïve and foolish, but one minute I was a junior
in college dating a tall, handsome Biblical Studies major, the next minute we
were engaged, and he was looking for a job as a Bible teacher at a Christian
school.
I found a way to graduate early, he was offered a job (that
he took) to work with youth at a church in Northern Virginia, and we were flying
high. It was all so fast and so
magical; nothing appeared to be in our way.
I’ll never forget calling him one month before our
wedding. I was working at a summer
camp while trying to finish one last college class and plan a wedding in my
spare time. I escaped for one
precious moment to dial his new phone number. He answered, “Stafford Baptist Church; Pastor Colby
speaking.”
Silence.
“What did you say?”
I could feel my face turning white.
“Stafford Baptist Church; Pastor Colby speaking….Annie, is this you…?”
“Why are you calling yourself a…a…a PASTOR?” I needed to address this right away—before
things got out of hand.
“Annie, you’re being ridiculous. They hired me as an associate pastor…what is going on? What’s the problem here?”
I was beginning to connect the dots. If he was a pastor,
then what did that make me?
I could feel my control slipping as the epiphany grew larger
and larger.
I had been duped.
It had happened.
I was a pastor’s wife.
The truth was that I had always envisioned myself in
ministry, traveling the world as a missionary, speaking at churches like a 21st
century Lottie Moon, leading and influencing people to follow Christ…but never
in the role of a Pastor’s wife. Nonetheless, there I was. Twenty one years old and an associate
pastor’s wife.
I could tell you that we lived happily ever after…
…that I thrived in my new role and was the “rib,” the “help
meet,” and the encourager I had been called to.
…that I never looked to my husband to meet my God-sized
needs and never got resentful of his inability to deliver.
I could tell you that I never once called my husband’s cell
phone during his Starbucks meetings so he could hear our one-month-old and our
nineteen-month-old screaming bloody murder in the background as a subtle
punishment for being there instead of at
home.
Ahem.
I could.
But…women who have it
all together rarely encourage me. They usually just send me into deep despair. So, I won’t lie. I will tell you, however, that it is a fight. It is a struggle. Whether you dreamed of being a pastor’s
wife your whole life or not, it will not be easy. You will be tempted to be a
discouragement to your husband, and you will most likely (at some point) fall
prey. Then you will feel awful and
will have to scrape yourself off the floor with whatever putty knife is
available so that the rest of your life is not spent loathing in
self-pity.
Or maybe it will be less subtle for you. It might not blare like it did for me,
but it might gnaw. I could go on
describing all the mountains I’ve had to climb, articulating all the pitfalls
that I’ve managed to find, or just embarrassing myself as I expose all my
character deficiencies. But I
want to simply say, don’t give up.
Our husbands have an important job, a unique calling, and we are an essential part of that equation. Reach out to someone if you feel that
you are sinking. Don’t make
excuses for why you can’t, and then take him down with you. God
has called your husband for a time such as this, and that means He has called
you too. Walk worthy of your
calling. Even if you feel like you
didn’t sign up for it.
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When did it first hit you that you were The Pastor's Wife?
If you would like to guest post like Annie, I invite you to read my writer's guidelines and submission details.
