My
husband and I have been in full-time vocational ministry since the day we were
married. People ask me what it’s like to be a pastor’s wife, and I tell them I
don’t know what it’s like to not be one. His calling colors every part
of my life in a way that’s difficult to explain and, in a way, difficult to
understand even for myself.
The
truth is that being the pastor’s wife is not a biblically assigned role, nor is
it a job, but on a weekly and even daily basis every pastor’s wife must
navigate social scenarios and church situations that arise only because
she’s married to the pastor. I’ve mostly learned to embrace this, because I see
how God has given me influence and how I can use it to honor Him and bless
others. But in all my years as a pastor’s wife, by far the most difficult
consequences of my husband’s job to navigate have been friendship and social
relationships. I'm still learning.
That's why I wanted to talk with Kristie Anyabwile, wife to Thabiti and mom to three, because she's been doing this pastor's wife thing longer than me, and she's someone I respect highly. Kristie is a speaker, writer, and Bible teacher. Her husband Thabiti is the pastor of Anacostia River Church in southeast DC, which the Anyabwiles planted a few years ago.
- What have been the most difficult things to navigate regarding friendship for you as a pastor's wife?
- How have you developed friendships where you can share openly and vulnerably?
- How do you respond to hurts in friendship and in wider church relationships? How do you continue to engage when you've been hurt?
- How have you developed friendships specifically through discipleship?
- What advice do you often give pastor's wives regarding friendship?
And if you haven't yet purchased your copy of my new book, Messy Beautiful Friendship, grab one today at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Christianbook.com, or Target.
